January 30, 2005

Laurie Anderson

So we went to a concert
And our seats were down front
Right in the center
And we had a most excellent view

And I thought
That is Laurie Anderson
And I thought
That looks just like Laurie Anderson
And I thought
She sounds just like Laurie Anderson
And I thought
That is Laurie Anderson

When we arrived
There was something wrong
The seats were right
The seats were perfect
But there was something wrong

Was it the air?
Was it the light?
And it was hard to breathe
And it was getting worse
And I looked up to the lights

And in the lights
There was a smoky haze
And I thought it was my glasses
I took them off to check
But it was smoke
Or it was fog
And I thought, they tested the smoke machine
During the sound check
But that seems cheesy for Laurie Anderson

And then it occurred to me
There were fifty candles on the stage
Scattered like stars
Stolen from churches
Flickering in the darkness
And slowly
Very slowly
Filling the auditorium with smoke

And I thought
Not good
And I thought
Hard to breathe
And I thought
Especially when one has a cold
And I thought

And the show started
And Laurie Anderson did her thing
And it was good
But it could have been better
There was a bombardment

There was a bombardment
Of the senses
Or more accurately
One sense
The sense
Of smell

But it wasn't the smoke
There was that
But it wasn't the smoke
That broke the threshold
No it wasn't the smoke
It was the perfume

Every woman at the concert
Seemed to be wearing their strongest perfume
Each scent was different
Total bombardment
Extreme perfume bombardment
Nasty stuff
Particularly the person
Wearing too much sandalwood
Smack-dab in front of us

And I thought
Of second-hand smoke
And I thought
"What about second-hand perfume?"
And I thought
of the movie SAFE
And I thought
Too much
When I should have been listening

Laurie's performance was excellent
Electric violin
Spoonfed monologue
Moody backgrounds
Though at times
Just at times
I thought
That with her use
of all those dark, moody themes
Low droning notes
The slow heartbeats
During those times
I expected her, or
If not her, Martin Sheen
To say
"Whatever you do, don't get off the boat.
Absolutely goddamn right."

She told anecdotes
Funny anecdotes
Sad anecdotes
Thoughtful anecdotes
About her dog
About NASA
About the moon
About 9/11
About the end of the world

Her only regret
During her time at NASA
Was that she didn't get to ride
The vomit comet
The audience laughed
And I thought
Laurie needs Flight School

If you get a chance
Go see Laurie Anderson
Her concert is excellent
I think
But don't bring your kids
They will fall asleep
Long before
The show is over

Posted by brian at January 30, 2005 03:13 PM


Found you via ScottR

Brilliant review!

Posted by: Tim at January 31, 2005 01:20 PM

I LOVED this!!! I saw Laurie Anderson on her "End of the Moon" tour when she was here in DC last October at Lisner Auditorium (George Washington University). I loved the effect of the candles scattered across the stage floor, but the show itself didn't affect me as much as her blissful "Happiness" tour from 2002.


Jolene :)

Posted by: Jolene Munch at February 15, 2005 07:26 PM

I saw Laurie Anderson at Calgary in January 2005. It was one of the most amazing concerts/performances I have been to. I first saw Laurie during her Gravity's Angel tour. She is an amazing artist.

Posted by: David at February 27, 2005 08:05 PM

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